One of These Years

One of these years I will learn balance. I'll have a garden and a life at the same time. I'll harvest the veggies that grew all summer and actually eat them, instead of letting them rot on the plants and vines.

This is not that year.

A year ago I lamented about my lack of time, as I transitioned into a new life. I'd worked at home for many years, and had access to my garden at all times, so entering the workforce and being away all day put me into a kind of shocked depression that lasted for months. I was an assistant at an elementary school, and I only worked 25 hours a week, but the culture shock--leaving my jeans-and-t-shirt, messy long-haired, bread-baking, preschool lesson-planning, garden addicted life--made me feel like I was working much longer, much harder hours. In hindsight, I had it easy. Isn't that how hindsight always works?

I fear I complained too much about my life, and I hope that those who read my words didn't scorn them, or think I created needless drama. It truly was a life-altering experience for me, since I had begun to let myself dream of a homestead kind of life, full of self-sufficiency. I thought that I was on a path of natural eating, less reliance on factory food, and a healthier mindset mentally, emotionally, and physically. I even had wild dreams of moving far from the city and getting rid of my TV and phone, obtaining chickens and goats, and leaving 'mainstream life' behind. Not going off the grid or turning into some kind of hippie. Just becoming more connected. Being closer to nature and the way my grandparents lived.

Because I had that persistent daydream, realizing that I was taking a complete 180 was a little shattering for my spirit.

And if I thought I worked hard and had no time when I worked as an assistant, I had NO IDEA what was in store for me when I interviewed for and got that longed-for teaching position.

About 2 months ago, I was hired to teach third grade. My own classroom! A dream come true! It's at a different school than where I assisted, and I'd already interviewed for and was turned down for a position somewhere else prior to being hired. I am so aware of my good fortune--the position I landed had received 40 applications. This so-called teacher shortage isn't something I've seen first hand, and there is still plenty of competition for these precious teaching jobs.

I won't go into the extreme drama of my first 2 weeks--in which I nearly quit from the pressure--but I will say that my shock from the previous year didn't even hold a candle to the absolute terror and desolation I felt when I was finally in my teaching job and panicked. I thought, I cannot do this. I just can't. I will ruin these kids. What was I thinking?

Two weeks of absolute hell dragged by. I didn't eat or sleep. I only showed up at work and fumbled my way through, smiling all the time so that no one knew my panic. Every day melted into the next. I lost 10 pounds in those two weeks. My kids...oh my gosh, I don't even know how they got to where they needed or received the things they needed. My husband went out of town for work right as I started my job, so that was an added stress. Luckily, my oldest son took mostly took over (he's nearly 18), my parents took the boys often, other people brought us food, and we all survived. Most people would have handled it all like a normal, well-adjusted adult--it's just a A JOB for crying out loud!!! But, I'm not a normal well-adjusted adult.

It's probably needless to say--I forgot I even had a garden.

Today I finally went outside, after a good rain, to see what damage it had sustained. It's not so bad. It looks wild and lush from all the rain. Little surprises peeked out from here and there. A lot of food went to waste, but not all of it.

One of these years my garden will be a part of me just like my new life, my new career. The panic of starting a teaching job has subsided, and I am now determined that I'm truly on the right path. We rely on factory food. We don't focus on fresh foods and healthy eating like we used to. That doesn't mean we never will. It just means I'm still transitioning into a life I know I'm meant to live, even if all the components haven't matched up yet. Not all the gears are connected and turning, but one day they will be. I will focus on surviving my first year of teaching---which I repeat, is a dream come true even if right now I feel like I'm suspended in some kind of chaotic whirlwind, not even sure of what I'm doing at all--and I will make a promise once again to my garden: Next year. Next year I'll tend you even when school starts. We'll be a great team one of these years...but not this year.

Forager's Find: Lamb's Quarters

It's time for you to discover lamb's quarters! 

A common 'weed' that is also known as goosefoot, fat hen, and smooth pigweed, lamb's quarters is a plant you may have overlooked. Tasty and abundant, and common nearly everywhere human beings live, it is the perfect forager's find. The leaves taste incredibly similar to spinach, and the raw stems taste like asparagus.

Worms on The Blacktop

"Attention staff and students: pardon the interruption. We will be having outdoor recess today. Students, please stay on the blacktop only."

The Merging of Dreams: Beware the Tears

Caution: I analyze everything to death. Nothing is simple. I abhor change, though in time I usually accept it. Things that would be mere hiccups to most people--like a job change--disrupt my entire life and make me question the reason for my very existence. You've been warned. Read on if you've ever felt overwhelmed by change in your life--my reluctance and fears about change may make you feel like a superstar in comparison!

So Life Changed a Little Bit Around Here


I usually don't digress on this blog, or at least,

The Seeds We Saved in 2015

Each year I try to learn a little bit more about seed saving. It appeals to the practical (aka cheap) side of me (those seed packets really add up!) and to the inquisitive side of me (you mean, that's how a plant makes seed?).

Hooked on this Heirloom: Sanditas

These adorable little cucumbers are becoming wildly popular with gardeners, and for very good reason!

Today in The Garden- Neglect

I was warned that it would happen. Once I started working outside the house, my garden would suffer. The blog would suffer. I just wouldn't have the time to deal with these 'hobbies' anymore.

Crisp Onion & Zucchini Pizza

Got pesto? Got zucchini and onions? Try them all together on a pizza and be ready to fall in love!

Food Forest Update; Quiet Steady Growth

From the street, it's becoming obvious that this is no longer
a typical urban empty lot.

If you didn't see my original post about the Food Forest, click here to see how I got to be present at its 'birth'. What was once just a simple empty lot has begun a transformation beyond my wildest dreams...and it will only get more lush and beautiful as the perennial plants and trees reach maturity.

Today in The Garden- Six Blossoms

Early in the morning, there was a huge yellow blossom on the Jack-Be-Little pumpkin plant--by afternoon it had closed in on itself and revealed another blossom underneath it. Throughout the day we looked closely and found a few other flowering surprises.

There is something indescribably exciting about spotting those first blossoms. While the whole garden is hard at work, growing and greening in all the rain, these 6 are the star of the show for today...

Jack-Be-Little